How to Develop Confidence

How to Develop Confidence

Inspired by the teachings of peak performance coach, Ed Mylett …

Confidence is believing in yourself and your ability to succeed. Your confidence level directly impacts your identity; i.e., how you see yourself. The foundation of personal development is positively influencing your identity. You cannot succeed past your identity over the long-term. A problem for good people is they do not take more from life than they think they deserve. Because confidence is related to what you believe you are worth, you must accept more and expect more. The better your self-image, the greater your success.

Your identity is equivalent to a thermostat with a preset temperature. When your life heats up, you unconsciously turn on the air conditioning to cool down the temperature to the preset-level. When your life cools down, you unconsciously turn on the furnace to heat up the temperature to the preset-level. You are the thermostat and your identity is the temperature. While the thermostat is the governor of your life, you control it. Until you raise the temperature of your life, you will tolerate living at the preset-level; i.e., where you are most comfortable.

You raise your identity (temperature of your life) by developing your confidence. You develop confidence by keeping promises you make to yourself. When you keep promises you make to yourself, you develop confidence over time. Self-confidence is self-trust. You can rely on you. You can trust you. You have a relationship with yourself where when you say you will do something, you do it. You know you can and will do whatever it takes to achieve results and win. Your confidence-level in any area is directly related to keeping promises you make to yourself in that area.

Developing confidence is about caring what you think about you, not what others think about you. If you are influenced or preoccupied by what other people think about you, there is a deficiency in what you think about you. You cannot let other people or the outside world cause your identity (temperature) to fluctuate. Confidence is an inside game. While you cannot control the outside world, you can control how you react to it. You are the thermostat and control the temperature (your identity). You can bring confidence and courage to every situation.

How do you develop confidence? 1) Proximity. Increase your proximity to people operating at higher levels than you. Your identity (temperature) will increase through positive association with and proximity to them. 2) Capability. Engage in activities that exceed your current capability (“play up”). As your gain experience and increase your skill, you raise your preset temperature (identity). 3) Action. Taking action develops confidence because you cannot avoid the work required to succeed. Put in the time, energy and effort every day (you cannot cheat the grind – it knows).

Self-talk is also important to developing confidence. Thoughts (what you tell yourself) create beliefs (thoughts you accept as true) and beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies. Your brain cannot hold two competing thoughts at once. You have minimal control over your first thought, but total control over your second thought. Treat your first thought as temporary and replace it with accountable, positive language. The subconscious believes what you repeatedly tell it. While your confidence can be shaken, only you can take it away. Maintain confidence even when facing obstacles.

Your confidence instructs others how to treat you. Letting others know how to treat you is more important than worrying about their opinion of you (worry about God’s opinion of you and your opinion of you). Most people will not have long-term significance in your life. Know what you are worth and stop giving other people discounts. People will value you only as much as you value yourself. If you do not have confidence, you defeat yourself before you begin. Confidence and success are symbiotic; i.e., the more you have of one, the more you have of the other.

All contents copyright © 2018, Josh Lowry. All rights reserved.

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