Josh Lowry BLOG

How to Be An Outgoing Introvert

The human brain requires stimulation. The brain’s optimal level of stimulation is regulated by socialization. Because an introvert’s brain is highly stimulated by nature, they need less socialization to reach the optimal level. In fact, introverts often find too much socialization exhausting and stressful. In contrast, an extrovert’s brain is less stimulated by nature. As a result, they need more socialization to reach the optimal level. When extroverts experience too little socialization, they often become bored and dissatisfied.

Because introverts need less socialization, they are often perceived as unsocial, shy and rude. While not true, perception can be reality. Too much stimulation can also cause introverts to not fully participate in or withdraw from conversations. While introverts cannot become extroverts, they can become more outgoing. Outgoing means focusing outside yourself, not on the internal conversation in your head; e.g., How am I coming across? When introverts focus internally, people pick up on their uncertainty and stop engaging with them because it is not rewarding.

Instead of being focused internally – What if I say something wrong?; or I have something to say, but now the time has passed, did I miss my opportunity? – introverts must focus outwardly on what is being said. When someone says something they can comment on, they must comment on it. They must have courage and share their energy and knowledge with others. When introverts participate, they develop (practice) their people and social skills. They should not be afraid to “tank” a few conversations as they build confidence. If introverts dare to practice, they will improve.

It is important to note that being outgoing – being focused outside yourself – does not mean you have to talk all the time. People who talk all the time are not outgoing because they are focused on themselves (internally, not externally). Being outgoing is about focusing outside yourself. While introverts have a rich inner life, the time and place for that is when they are alone, but not all the time. When introverts are around others, they should focus on others and what is being said. Outgoing people tend to get results. While introverts cannot become extroverts, they can become outgoing.

All contents copyright 2018, Josh Lowry. All rights reserved.